How Leaders Sabotage The Change They Want to See, And What They Can Do About It.
Leaders often sabotage the very change they want to see.
Unconscious behaviors sabotage personal goals and desires.
These same behaviors unconsciously negate collective change in the world.
Here’s how we unconsciously sabotage:
Change agents are attracted to issues because they’ve been personally affected:
• Immigration Lawyer, once a refugee
• Environmentalist, grew up in rainforest
• Equal Rights Advocate, identifies as LGBTQIA
Lived experience offers valuable insight.
But by definition, lived experience, includes personal pain. Personal wounds left unattended, fester beneath the surface.
We lead from Hurt, not from Healing.
Festered wounds are dangerous.
We unconsciously project our pain.
When we lead from pain, it amplifies through the system.
It negates the change we seek in the world.
Projecting pain can look like:
- Winning at any costs
- Obsessively long work hours
- Needing to control every outcome
Our unattended wounds put us in a constant state of reactivity. Limiting our ability to creatively respond.
Here’s the hidden cost of wounded Leadership:
- Anger blinds true vision
- Outrage paralyzes sustainable action
- Shaming dehumanizes potential partners
Here’s what to do instead:
Prioritize Personal Healing.
Healed Leadership is Responsible Leadership. When we lead from healing, pain as part of our story, not our whole story.
We listen to the wisdom of wounds, without being consumed by our wounds.
Here’s how to start:
1/ Acknowledge your wounds:
Awareness is the first step in healing.
2/ Understand the origin of your pain:
We all have a story. What’s yours?
3/ Learn how your pain manifests:
Get curious. How does your pain express itself?
4/ Commit to healing as a life-long practice:
This is a journey and continuous practice, exercise patience and gentleness through the process.
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